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The Lube Song

by Kate Sloan

/

lyrics

Lube, lube, glorious lube
The special sauce of sex
When you're in the mood
Or when you're not, it can get you wet

Let's talk about water-based
It's available almost any place
It's compatible with toys and condoms too
So you can do whatever you wanna do

The trouble is, it'll dry up fast
But add some water and it'll last
It can cost less than ten bucks a tube
And that's water-based lube

Lube, lube, glorious lube
The special sauce of sex
When you're in the mood
Or when you're not, it can get you wet

Let's talk about silicone
It's smooth as silk and it makes 'em moan
But silicone toys can be damaged by
This kind of lube; ask a scientist why

It'll last and last, but it'll stain your sheets
And just make sure it doesn't leak
If you spill it, you're fucked, and you have to move
And that's silicone lube

Lube, lube, glorious lube
The special sauce of sex
When you're in the mood
Or when you're not, it can get you wet

There's one more type of lube I forgot to mention
I don't have many in my collection
Oil-based lube is a great invention
But watch out – it can cause infection

It's fine for dicks in most cases
But not for more internal places
Your gynecologist might disapprove
And that's oil-based lube

Lube, lube, glorious lube
The special sauce of sex
When you're in the mood
Or when you're not, it can get you wet

Lube, lube, glorious lube
So many kinds to explore
When you're in the mood
Or when you're not, you can still use more

credits

released August 16, 2022
Written, performed & produced by Kate Sloan

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Kate Sloan Toronto

Thirtysomething from Toronto. Sex journalist by day, ukulele songstress by night. Writes songs about love, sex, fictional characters, and occasionally jellyfish.

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